Shocker! I occasionally read non-sports related magazines. I was flipping through the latest issue of Every Day With Rachael Ray a few days ago, trying to muster up some inspiration for being a good wife. You know, the come home, cook a dinner, and throw fun parties responsibilities that I generally fall down on the job on because I’m too busy trying to be a sports writer on top of my full-time job.
Rachael Ray’s latest issue features an article trying to instruct readers on how to have fun party photo backgrounds. But wait, you’re supposed to have photo backgrounds? The general landscape of your tiny, clean apartment full of sports memorabilia isn’t enough? I’m crushed. Rachel Ray says that my tidy apartment isn’t a good enough background, and that I should do the following:
I should take streamers of different colors, hang them from a certain rod or string against a wall, have people hug in front of it, and take photos. Isn’t this one of these crafts where it looks somewhat acceptable in the magazine’s pages, but when you try to do it yourself, everyone’s going to question your sanity? Your guests will enter your home and wonder, “What’s that random curtain of mismatched streamers doing up against the wall? Should I say anything? Is it supposed to be there? I’m just not going to say anything because she might think it’s cute, but it’s really not.”
And then this project assumes you have streamers that don’t have footballs printed on them. Which I do, because I’m a sports nut.
This is why I don’t throw parties.