Since joining Twitter in 2008, I have had a few incidents of followers who have crossed the line – making me feel uncomfortable at networking events and other actions that have made me feel a tad uneasy. I’ve brushed it off as harmless, because I thought most of these people did not have malicious intent – they just are trying to be friendly, but haven’t felt out the appropriate boundaries yet.
But an offline incident this past spring (that had no relation to social media) has me looking at this type of behavior in a new light. Even if the person “means well” and “just doesn’t know the boundaries,” they can still cause harm to you. How do you protect yourself? How does a woman be social on social media and be safe at the same time?
Here are some tips I’ve come up with – feel free to add your own in the comments:
The Buddy System – I don’t go to networking events without a friend or colleague who I know well. Not an acquaintance, not a Twitter follower that I’ve never met offline, but someone I know well. Sure, I miss out on some events this way, and it does limit some of the exploratory heart of networking. But knowing that I have someone to fall back on in the event that I get in a strange situation makes working the room that much easier.
Report Later – If I’m trying out a restaurant, coffee shop or other establishment by myself (which I often do), and I want to talk about it via social media, I do so after the fact. Instead of saying, “Trying out a latte at Cafe Coffee in Name Of Place right now,” it becomes, “Enjoyed a latte at Cafe Coffee today. Highly recommend.” Even if you are still at the establishment, change the tense of your statement so that you don’t open yourself up to being approached if you don’t want to be.
Check In As You Leave – If I am in the mood to use Foursquare and SCVNGR (which is not often, but occasionally I go on location based binges for work purposes), and I am alone, I check in to the establishment as I’m leaving, not when I immediately walk in the door. You can still gain your all important mayorships and finish treks, but you aren’t opening yourself up to being followed.
Don’t Be Afraid To Say Hey – If someone’s behavior is making you uneasy, call them out or block them. Tell them that you don’t feel comfortable with how they are acting. Most importantly, tell others, and if those people don’t take you seriously, get a second opinion. Don’t let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t feel uneasy. You can’t help your gut, and if your gut is giving you a good ol’ “Danger, Will Robinson,” then there is most likely a legit reason behind that.