New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick gave one of his regular cagey and depreciating press conferences Friday, answering questions about Sunday’s regular season ending matchup against the Buffalo Bills. He was displeased with many of the questions, and gave little insight into how he views Sunday’s opponent.
After reviewing the press conference transcript, I decided to decipher Belichick’s statements, and translate them into what he really wanted to say about the Bills.
Belichick said: “Chan [Gailey] and his staff have done a real good job with that team.”
What he meant: “At least Gailey has kept his job, despite an inability to make smart decisions in the red zone for the last half of the season. He’s done better than, say, Todd Haley. So there’s that.”
Belichick said: “They do a lot of things well; they’re not penalized much.”
What he meant: “The Bills may not be penalized much, but they also make brainless mistakes and mismanage the clock. The way Ryan Fitzpatrick has handled the play clock in the last few games, you would think he never played with one in the Ivy League. So what’s worse?
“And when I say they do a lot of things well, I mean their owners haven’t drawn the intense ire of their stadium’s neighbors by trying to build a Las Vegas style casino on a stretch of road where the traffic resembles sausage being pressured into casing. So there’s that. Oh, and I guess you could give them some credit for those new uniforms. So yes, they do a lot of things well.”
Belichick said: “You have to play good football against them, obviously a lot better than we played the last time. Hopefully we’ll be able to do that but it’s not easy.”
What he meant: “You have to not have a horrific record setting yard allowing defense against the Bills. Then again, that’s the same for every team we’ve played this season. Controlling the inabilities of our defense will be key not just for this week against the potential spoiler Bills, but in the playoffs. Some question our defensive leadership and coaching, but here’s a fun note about my defensive staff: if you add up the ages of the two coaches realistically in charge of the defense – Matt Patricia and Josh Boyer – they are still roughly thirty years younger than Ralph Wilson and Marv Levy.
“But our defense can allow all the yards they want – unless Gailey uses a back besides Tashard Choice in the red zone on Sunday, our questionable defense may be able to keep the Bills at bay.”
Belichick said: “They do a lot of things well; return the ball well. ”
What he meant: “They did a lot of things well, until 17 of them ended up on the injured reserve and they subsequently tanked the rest of the season. I mentioned returning the ball well because it was the only thing I could think of to praise them on. In reality, the Bills only have one return touchdown this year, and rank 22nd in the league in that category. But they are better than we are – my Patriots are a dour 29th.”
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Buffalo Bills fans aren’t taking Sunday’s matchup against the Patriots lightly. Northtown Automotive, the “official car dealer of the Buffalo Bills”, posted this as their weekend billboard in Buffalo.
The Northtown Automotive billboard for NFL Week 17. (From the Buffalo Bills Twitter account)
I’ll be in the Gillette Stadium crowd on Sunday afternoon, wearing Bills gear and holding my breath. I probably won’t be Tweeting (see my Gillette Stadium guide from earlier this week for why), but I’m sure I’ll share my thoughts as soon as I am able.