Sports writer - Grant writer

Category: Monday Night Football (Page 1 of 2)

Uneasy Moments in Dunkin’ Donuts

Not an iced coffee, but an example of how much both my cat and I run on Dunkin'. And why it's weird to go in their as a Bills fan.

Not an iced coffee, but an example of how much both my cat and I run on Dunkin'. And why it's weird to go in there as a Bills fan.

Sunday morning, I woke up earlier than usual, and decided to take advantage of this extra time and do laundry. I got ready, threw on my Buffalo Bills sweatshirt, Bills earrings and jeans, and beat the crowd to my local Allston laundromat by all of five minutes. I snapped up my three washers, started my laundry, and headed over to the Dunkin’ Donuts across the street. This is the DD’s where one of the employee’s routinely refers to me as “Ms. Cinna-mina-mon”, after the morning I was more dead to the world than usual and couldn’t say cinnamon to save my life. (Because I live on a small cinnamon iced coffee with cream and sugar. If this is not drank in the morning, than my day will be largely unsuccessful.)

Being 8am on a Sunday morning in Allston, Massachusetts (aka college party central of America), my usual swamped Dunkin’ Donuts was dead. One person in front of me getting a Coolata, one person at the doggie window getting something equally as complicated, so my Bills clad self waiting patiently in line, ready to order my iced cinnamon when it was my turn.

Someone else entered the Dunkin’ Donuts and got in line next to me. He cleared his throat and then stifled a laugh. I snuck a glance. This young man was wearing a new but fashionably antique-y looking Pat-the-Patriot-sporting New England Patriots sweatshirt.

Continue reading

Please Don’t Touch Mr. Young. It Makes Me Sad.

I just read on Awful Announcing that Steve Young was in rare form Monday evening during Monday Night Countdown and the post-game show.

steve-young-smileFirst off, he called ESPN “dumb.” Oh Steve, for all of your smarts, you can sure put your foot in your mouth sometimes. Like the time you called out Phil Simms on national television. I despise Simms as well, and think he was wicked overrated as a quarterback (just like his son), but I’d never call him out on it on national television.

Hmm…maybe I would, but I would do it under a pseudonym and hide for a few weeks following.

Steve, I’ll offer you the same piece of advice I offered Bill Simmons a few months ago. Don’t publicly “dis” your employer. Don’t blog on a underground Blogger account about how ESPN is the man and how they don’t let you post every 7,000 word tomb you write, even if you have a legitimate point. Don’t call out ESPN on ESPN, even if you have pent up anger about having to do a show with Emmitt “I Have Never Heard of Subject-Verb Agreement” Smith and Stuart “Boo-yah!” Scott. Both are examples of burning bridges. I tell my students all the time not to burn bridges, especially with employers, potential employers, and the like. If you ever want a job, it probably isn’t a good idea to burn bridges.

Steve and Bill, you need a career counselor to give you the counseling you obviously didn’t receive at Brigham Young and Holy Cross, respectively. I volunteer. Email me. I’ll help you.

Secondly, in the most egregious assault of one of my favorite athletes since Saturday night’s BU-BC game, a Carolina Panthers fan threw a beer cup at Steve Young. Fortunately, he missed. Steve stayed calm and professional throughout the incident, which does not surprise me. Think about it. For one, he’s a lawyer. Lawyers get stuff thrown at them all the time. (Well, I mean, not all the time. But they are the recipients of a lot of vile comments and hate, which are metaphorically thrown at them. Right?) Additionally, Steve Young has like five children under the age of 10. He has toys, clothes, diapers and cut-up-bits of food thrown at him every single minute of his waking life.

Therefore, having a empty beer cup thrown at him was not going to phase Steve Young. Nothing phases Steve, except for sharing a show with Emmitt Smith or Michael Irvin. But then again, wouldn’t that bug you too?

Mr. Young, I Have a Problem With Your Hair.

Dear Mr. Young:

You have been the object of my squee since I was old enough to have a celebrity mega crush. Even though I am now older, engaged, and have moved on to other objects of squee like Gabe Kapler and Jason Bay, you will always be my number one.

I try to catch your commentary on Monday Night Football every Monday. (I must say, Emmitt Smith makes you sound even more eloquent than you already are.) Although I had to work late on Monday, I was able to catch your post-game analysis after the Packers-Saints game. While watching, I had one overwhelming question:

What happened to your hair?
steveyoung1124

Did you dye it? It looked much lighter. Is your hair negatively reacting to the New Orleans weather? If so, I can point you in the direction of some excellent anti-frizz products. (Then again, so could your ex-model wife.) Are you so busy with your multiple children that you didn’t have time to comb it? If so, that is completely excusable – you have like five now, and not everyone can look as good as Kate Gossalin when running after their multiple young children.

I feel bad for you, and I feel even worse for pointing out in a public forum. However, I just want you to know that I’ll still be a fan, through good hair and bad, through ESPN moving you off Sunday NFL Countdown because they no longer wanted commentators with an IQ higher than 80 and your Samsung HD television advertisements where you are inexplicably wearing shabby flip-flops.

Best wishes,

Sports Girl Kat

Your #10 fan since 1992

*************

I am off to see the Boston University Terriers take on the Crusaders of the College of the Holy Cross. The Terriers have played very well against non-conference opponents this season – they are undefeated against them – but we know what we’re pretending didn’t happen last weekend. Let’s hope this evening ends well.

Just When I Was Starting to Forget that Jerry Jones May In Fact Be Evil — My Bills versus Cowboys Running Diary

Seeing that the Bills only make Monday Night Football appearances every thirteen years, I figured I should probably record it for perpetuity. Well, that and I wasn’t able to join the Bills Backers of Boston down at their big Monday night party at The Harp because I had to work super early the next morning, so I had to do something special to mark the occasion. Instead, it became a running diary of how sad and trying it is to be a Bills fan and a Western New York native, especially whenever you face any professional sports team from Dallas.

Continue reading

This is the First Entry of My Version of Now I Can Die In Peace, which I will Compile When the Bills Unexpectedly Win the Super Bowl Sometime in the Next 5 Years

I don’t like to gamble. I cringe when my father hands me a scratch ticket for a holiday. My toes curl when my boyfriend drags me into a casino. Despite my superb football picking skills, I’ve never been tempted to place monetary bets on a week of picks. Maybe it was my penny pinching childhood. Maybe it’s because I think the existence of Native American run gaming facilities has significantly affected the social and economic status of Native Americans for the worse. When it comes to gambling, I can’t see the reward outweighing any risk.

However, I am going to take a gamble here. I am going to start writing with frenzy regarding this five week old football season. I am going to start writing with this frenzy because if I do, and the Bills, by some grace of G-d win the Super Bowl or at least get to the AFC Championship Game, I will be able to cash in. Continue reading

« Older posts

© 2024 Kat Cornetta

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑